Little Do You Know
by tvfangirl84
Summary: Stephanie moves back in with her sister D.J to help her raise her boys. While D.J has a lot to work through with being a recently widowed parent, Stephanie has her own secrets as well, but she decides to keep it all in. What happens when Stephanie decides to open up to her big sister. How will Stephanie go on with life? Rated T just to be safe. Based off of the Mad Max Episode.
1. Chapter 1

A/N: I haven't written anything in a few years and I'm not crazy about the title, but I couldn't come up with anything else, this is my first Full/Fuller House story, this is based off of Fuller House, and the episode titled _Mad Max_ , when Stephanie tells DJ her secret. Stephanie always was and still is my favorite character. Here it goes!

Disclaimer: I own nothing. Jeff Franklin owns the scene that I respectively used.

April 2016

It's been about a month since DJ's husband Tommy passed away and a few weeks ago I moved in with my older sister to help raise her three boys, along with Kimmy Gibbler and her daughter Ramona. While I loved my nephews and my sister, my heart also ached from what I'll never have. Months ago I went through a tragedy of my own, and I didn't want to put the burden on anyone else, so I kept the sadness and the tragic event to myself. After all, it didn't really concern anyone else as I was living across the world and was distant from my family as it was. When my sister was in trouble, I knew it was time for me to step up and help her like she's helped me throughout life, well through everything except what happened a few months ago.

As I helped my sister with her boys, I began to get to know them better and really care and love for them. I realized what it was like to have someone depend on you, and look up to you for everything. I wanted that for myself, I wanted what my sister had but it would never happen for me. About five months ago, my life changed, and I still haven't told anyone about it.

After rocking out at Coachella, I was offered the chance to tour as a DJ, it was everything I ever wanted to do, but my heart just wasn't in it. My heart belonged somewhere it, it belonged with my family. It belonged at home. I knew that's where I was supposed to be, so I quit and went home.

"Hey what are you doing back so soon, your text said you were going to Italy!" D. J exclaimed as she hugged me.

"I was, but I don't know I got on the plane and everyone was already drunk and stupid." I said as I sighed. "I don't know maybe I've just outgrown the party scene."

"You passed up Italy?!"

"I don't know, I just got to thinking about everything I'd be missing here." I said softly as I looked over Tommy's crib. "You know I've already missed Max's first recital, Jackson's gonna start dating soon, and I definitely don't want to miss Tommy's first words, which we know are going to be I love you Aunt Stephanie." I said as I chuckled and looked down at a smiling Tommy, trying to hold back tears.

"Can't believe I'm hearing this from you." D.J was shocked but happy that I felt like this and that I was willing to stay home rather than go out and party, she never really approved of my carefree party life.

"I can't believe I'm saying this." I looked down at the floor, trying to hold back tears as my voice got more fragile and soft. "These kids have really snuck into my heart."

"Ooh look who's getting sucked into the vortex of motherhood."

"Yeah," I couldn't hold back the tears anymore, I had to tell D.J my secret as I walked away from the crib, I went over to the changing table to hold it, while I revealed a big part of my life to my older sister.

"Hey Steph, you alright?"

"I'm fine," I couldn't look at my sister just yet, I was trying to find something, anything at this point to focus on.

"No you're not." I looked back over at my sister, she had that concerned big sister look in her eyes, and I knew I could tell her. "What's wrong?" Suddenly I got nervous again and broke eye contact. I don't know why I was so nervous, it was already done, I was told there was no way of it ever happening for me.

"I really don't want to talk about it." I said with my voice shaky and tears on the verge of spilling out. I knew my sister wouldn't back off now, especially when seeing my facial expression.

"Hey whatever it is you can tell me."

"I can't have children." I looked at my older sister, and was completely crying at this point. Why was I so nervous to tell her again, maybe because she would think of me as different? D.J was shocked and saddened to hear the news, wrapping me in a hug.

"Oh Stephanie, are you alright?"

"I'm okay," I said kind of shrugging it off like it was no big deal. "I just found out a while ago it's just not going to happen for me."

"Why didn't you tell me?"

"I was in England, you just lost your husband, you had enough going on. And I wasn't really thinking about starting a family anyway, but then I moved in here, and I really got to know your kids, feel what it was like to have a family of your own. Things changed." I knew those weren't the only reasons, but I figured I would tell D.J another time, I was tearing up at this point, and D.J gave me another sisterly hug. We stood in a tight embrace until Ramona, Jackson and Max came in.


	2. Chapter 2

A/N: This chapter just gives more of Stephanie's background story. It's mostly just Stephanie's painful past. Enjoy!

Disclaimer: I don't own anything.

Five Months Ago—November 2015

A huge weight was lifted off my shoulders after I told D.J. After I told D.J part of my secret, I knew I'd have to tell her the rest soon. As I walked downstairs to my room in the garage I couldn't help but think about how I found out that I couldn't have children.

 _My life was going great, I've been married for a year to Liam, and we were expecting a baby in a few short months. My life in London was great, I'm a well-known DJ and dancer, or I was until I became pregnant almost five months ago. I was 19 weeks along, almost halfway through my pregnancy and we started preparing for our baby girl Charlotte, Liam was at work, while I was creating baby shower invitations online. Because Liam and I lived in London, my family wouldn't be able to make it. It's not like it mattered, since I didn't really talk to them anymore. They didn't really want anything to do with me after I decided not to go to college, but to move across the world and follow my dream of being a dancer and becoming a DJ._

 _Liam and I were inviting his family and our friends. Liam and I got married a year ago, we met in Paris, where I was on the mainstage at a festival, and he was hanging out with some friends on a short vacation. His family lived in London and we got to know each other over the course of the next few months. After months of dating and getting to know each other, we became engaged, and shortly got married. I was extremely close to his family, which was nice since I didn't really talk to my family. My family doesn't even know I'm married or pregnant. I was sitting at the kitchen table creating the invitation online when all of the sudden I felt a sharp pain in my stomach, I looked down to see a huge rush of blood. My mind was racing as I walked quickly to my car. I called Liam on my way to the hospital._

 _"Hey beautiful, how's your day going?"_

 _"Liam, some-something's wrong with the baby, I'm going to St. Alexander's hospital now, I need you to meet me there, I need you." I said as I started crying, driving as quickly as I could to the hospital without speeding._

 _"I'm leaving work now, don't worry love, everything will be okay with Charlotte, don't worry I'll be there in 10 minutes. Everything's going to be okay."_

 _"I hope so, I just pulled into the parking lot of the maternity ward, hurry love."_

 _"I will beautiful." Liam said as we hung up. I got out of my car carefully yet quickly. Something was wrong and I needed help._

 _"Hi, I'm Stephanie James, I'm almost five months along, 19 weeks actually and there's something wrong with my little girl. I'm bleeding! I need help!"_

 _"Okay Stephanie, I just need you to sign this form, I'll get a doctor and a wheelchair over here for you."_

 _"Thank you."_

 _"Steph! Stephanie, love what happened?" I heard as I was signing my form, Liam came up by my side as the nurse came back over with a doctor and a wheelchair._

 _"Hi Stephanie I'm Dr. Edwards, why don't you take a seat, we'll go over to room 2 and see what's going on."_

 _"Hi Dr. Edwards, that sounds great. This is my husband Liam, this is my first pregnancy and I'm worried something is wrong with our little girl Charlotte." I said as we approached room 2 and Liam and the doctor helped me get out of the wheelchair. Once I was settled in the bed, Dr. Edwards went and sat over by my legs to see the blood loss._

 _"Oh my, Stephanie it looks like you have just experienced a miscarriage. I'm sorry, but you are no longer pregnant. I will leave you two alone for a while, I'll be back shortly and we can go over your options for delivering the fetus."_

 _"Thank you doctor." Liam said as I looked in the opposite direction of him and the doctor with tears in my eyes. I couldn't face him right now. He wanted Charlotte so much, we both did, I let him down, I wouldn't blame him if he could never forgive me._

 _"I'm sorry Liam I let you down, it was my job to protect her and I couldn't even do that. I don't blame you if you never want to speak to me again."_

 _"Steph, my love this isn't your fault. It just wasn't meant to be for us to be parents yet. I could never blame you or hate you, it just wasn't meant to be for Charlotte to be with us. We'll be okay love; we can always try again okay? Don't beat yourself up about this. I love you so much Stephanie." Liam said as we wrapped each other in a hug and I sobbed. Liam was always so strong. After a few minutes of just holding each other, we heard a knock on the door._

 _"Hi Stephanie, there are a few options that I would like to discuss with you as far as how we will deliver the fetus. Now naturally your body will just pass the fetus, or we can prescribe some medication or arrange a dilation and curettage, which is done under anesthesia to remove the fetus, and other tissues from your organs, the procedure is what most doctors recommend. It's an outpatient surgery so you won't need to stay overnight, and we can go through with the procedure today if you would like." Dr. Edwards said as I looked nervously up at Liam._

 _"It's up to you love, it's your body."_

 _"Let's go with the operation." I said solemnly._

 _"Okay, I will get everything started."_

 _"I'm taking the rest of the day off, and we're just going home and spend the day resting, okay love?" Liam said as the doctor walked out of the room._

 _"Yeah, that's fine." I said as I could feel my depression getting deeper. Before I met Liam, I struggled with depression heavily, so much to the point that I would lose myself in partying and drugs. But when I met Liam a year ago, everything changed. I stopped drinking and getting high, and found better ways to cope with my depression. He changed me, and I couldn't thank him enough for that. I knew that after today, I was going to be different, I could revert back to my old self, hopefully not my complete old self._

 _Liam had left the room to get some coffee, and I was left in my own thoughts._ _ **Had I done something wrong, was I to excited about the life inside of me? Was there something wrong with me? Why did this happen to me?**_ _I heard the door open and was taken out of my own thoughts when I felt Liam's hand in mine._

 _"The nurse will be in soon love." I just looked at him and tried to get a smile on my face. "Oh it'll be fine Steph we'll come out of this stronger." Liam said as he pulled me into a hug, I tried not to tear up but I did. We hugged each other for a few minutes as we heard a knock on the door. Liam looked at me as I nodded. "Come in." Liam said as I prepared for the anesthesia._

 _"Hi I'm Nurse Lily, I'll be giving you the anesthesia, and then Dr. Edwards will come and take you to the O.R for the surgery._

 _Liam squeezed my hand, as I looked up with a sad, childlike look on my face, and he kissed me on the forehead, he knew what to do to make me feel better. Slowly, I felt myself getting drowsy._

 _***An Hour Later***_

 _I came out of the anesthesia and instantly could tell what was missing from my body. The sadness instantly overcame my body again. Liam was sitting right next to me, holding my hand as tightly as he could. "We'll be able to leave soon my love, just relax." He said as I looked up at him with tears in my eyes._

 _***Hours Later***_

 _Liam and I had arrived home, we took his car he would go back to the hospital for mine later. The doctor had told us that I shouldn't drive for at least a day or two because of the anesthesia and what I had just gone through. As we walked to our bedroom, we passed what would've been Charlotte's room, we had two walls painted pink and were in the middle of putting her name up on the wall. Although it was really early on in the pregnancy, we couldn't help but get ready early, especially with our busy schedules we had no choice but to start getting ready early. I couldn't even look into the bedroom our daughter wouldn't be sleeping in. It hurt too much. Liam helped me climb into bed carefully, he covered me up and brought me a bottle of water, he then crawled into bed next to me and wrapped his arms around me. He always knew how to make me feel better. I turned over to face him, our eyes met and mine were filled with tears. He could tell that I was hurting so much, and that I just needed him. We stayed in an embrace for hours as I laid there sobbing. He was so comforting, constantly rubbing my back, kissing my forehead and whispering words of encouragement._

 _***A Few Days Later***_

 _A few days later I was scheduled for a checkup at the hospital with Dr. Edwards, she just wanted to check up with me and see how I was doing post miscarriage._

 _"Hi Stephanie, how have you been?"_

 _"It's been tough, but Liam went back to work and I'm slowly getting back into my daily routine."_

 _"That's great, get back into your daily routine but it takes small steps, and don't forget to take days for yourself and grieve."_

 _"I'm trying it's just hard."_

 _"Definitely." Dr. Edwards said as she looked down at her chart. "Now Stephanie, after running a few tests the other day after the procedure, it looks like you won't be able to have kids, you can keep trying but there's a chance it'll just never happen for you."_

 _"What? Am I sick, is something wrong with me?"_

 _"Unfortunately, I'm not sure, you are like most women, where you just fall into the unexplained category. Now this isn't to say that you will never be able to have kids, but there's a possibility that it'll just never happen for you. Like I said you can keep trying but there's no guarantees a pregnancy will happen."_

 _"Oh, well how long do Liam and I have to wait before trying again?"_

 _"Six to eight weeks, to let your body heal."_

 _"Okay, thank you." I said as the appointment finished. How was I going to tell Liam that he might never be a daddy. We might never have a family. I thought the miscarriage was hard, but this was harder. I headed home, I had to tell Liam._

 _***An hour later***_

 _I heard the front door open, and braced myself to tell Liam._

 _"Hello my love, how was your day?" Liam said as he looked at me, his big smile went away as he saw my grief-stricken face._

 _"Liam, honey you better sit down. I have something to tell you."_

 _"What? How did your appointment go?"_

 _"Liam there's a chance that I'll never get pregnant, we can keep trying and it could happen again, but we shouldn't get our hopes up."_

 _"What? Are you sure?" Liam said as he took my hands into his._

 _"Dr. Edwards explained the possibilities. I'm so sorry I won't be able to give you a family."_

 _"I mean it's probably for the best right, I mean we are both so busy, me with my long office hours, and you with your crazy tour schedule. Maybe it's for the best." Liam said trying to reassure the both of us that this was a good thing._

 _"You're okay with this?" I asked inquisitively._

 _"It'll take time to get used to it, but I'm sure it'll be fine." Liam said reassuringly._

 _Over the course of a few months, Liam and I grew apart with our busy schedules and barely anytime together; we lost touch with each other. It wasn't like it used to be. We had changed. We grew apart. A month later, we signed divorce papers. Stephanie Judith James no longer existed. What was I going to do now?_

 _That's when I got the call._

As I kept thinking about what happened a few months ago, my eyes felt heavier and I fell asleep. I had to tell D.J the rest of what happened.


End file.
